Unconsciously, I have been interning at the company for half a month...
This week, I moved into Space A, and the scope of company activities has expanded. I can now take the company bus to work every morning, although I still have to take the subway first and then the bus. But overall, the commuting time is shorter than before, and I can control the time on the road to about 30 minutes (if there is no traffic jam). The alarm still goes off at 8 o'clock in the morning, so I can take a shower and leave the house slowly. I can catch the subway before 9 o'clock and then take the 9:20 bus. I arrive at the company around 9:50.
This Monday, Space A officially opened, and there were quite a few activities. The theme of the activities was "The Starting Point of the Heart". When I arrived at the new workstation, a gift had been prepared for each person, which was an aromatherapy lamp. Looking down from the 6th floor, there were many activity booths, and it was particularly lively at noon. In the evening, there was a concert, and a pleasant day came to an end.
Writing at the end
Another week has passed quickly. I feel that in this half month, apart from daily activities, there are countless anxieties and confusion in my heart. First, I am confused about the project and doubt myself. In addition, there is a contradiction between lying flat and wanting to stay. Because I don't know if I will have the opportunity to enter a big company like Ant in the future, I should cherish the opportunity to enter such a company. I am not an outstanding person, but I am also an idealistic person. What I am doing now is not what I want. Maybe I won't stay in the end, and I don't have the ability to stay. I have told myself many times to forget it, after all, it's not what I expected.
Some people would say that since it's hard to get in, you should cherish it. There is nothing wrong with persistence, but I think I am not wrong either. Alibaba's culture pays great attention to seniority. Newcomers basically have no right to speak. Your thoughts are still your thoughts, and many things cannot be done as you wish. To complete a small requirement, it may be really simple, but you have to ask many people and seek everyone's opinions because you don't have the decision-making power, and this is also very inefficient. Many times, to clarify one thing, you may have to ask many individuals. Although Alibaba people call each other by nicknames, in terms of seniority, if you are a newcomer, you have to listen to me.
I don't really like this kind of environment, it makes me feel very suppressed. It is completely different from the atmosphere of my previous startup company. I really want an environment where there is no infighting, where people can discuss things together, where ideas can be put into practice, and where there is recognition for what you do. Everyone is equal, without distinction of high or low.
This month is coming to an end. According to what I heard from HRG, the probation defense will be on the 20th of next month. Regardless of the outcome, I no longer have the determination to stay. Because I don't want to ruin my enthusiasm and my only passion.