It's the National Day holiday again. Looking back at this time last year, I was still crazily playing games. That period of time should have been the most indulgent for me, with crazy spending and enjoyable playing, but also a life filled with happiness and confusion. While being happy, I couldn't forget about my future plans and direction. Now, I no longer have happiness, but I'm still confused.
I have gone through the last phase of this year's autumn recruitment, but I haven't applied to many big companies. Currently, only Tencent and Xiaohongshu have reached the final stage of the interview process, but even if I complete the entire interview process, it doesn't guarantee that I will pass in the end. And even if I pass, it doesn't necessarily mean I will go. I can't handle the pressure of big cities, especially with endless overtime. It would be like this. Even during the summer internship at Ant Group, when there was no overtime, I still felt the invisible pressure, the invisible oppression, that kind of torment. Life lost its joy, and my body became nothing more than a soulless shell.
Currently, still 0 offers. But maybe there are some things I should think carefully about.
Regarding living expenses, how much does it cost to live in Shanghai? Taking the address of Xiaohongshu as an example, after experiencing the torture and exhaustion of commuting, I no longer consider renting in remote areas. Renting a one-bedroom apartment around the center of Shanghai requires at least 6k if it's through an agency. If it's within 4-5 subway stations and within 1km from the subway exit, and I find a landlord directly, it would still cost 4-5k. And I would have to squeeze on the subway and walk, which would take a long time overall. It's too tiring. Even if I calculate based on the 22k salary at a big company last year, it seems that there won't be much left each month after deducting rent and social security and housing fund. Moreover, there are necessary living expenses, and life is very tiring, overtime is very tiring, being alone is very lonely, and the money I earn is all spent in big cities, without any quality of life.
I thought of a saying
"The money earned in Shenzhen can only be spent in Shenzhen, don't even think about taking a penny back."
After graduation, it might be better to return to a small city, even if I don't earn much each month, at least I would live more comfortably. There would be no pressure to buy a house, no fast-paced life. Maybe I would be more adaptable.
The world is big, some people want to develop in big cities and accelerate their own growth; some people return to their own small cities and live a comfortable life.
I am a contradictory person, how to choose, how to weigh, I still don't have an answer.