Hope is the last, and dawn will come.

This is the third week of lockdown. Watching the increasing numbers every day and the growing number of infected people around me, I am becoming more and more worried about my own safety.

Is the virus terrifying? It doesn't seem so. Most of the vaccinated people are asymptomatic carriers. What is truly terrifying is being taken to a strange place because of a positive test result, like a makeshift hospital or having nowhere to go. In my neighborhood, even in such a severe situation, there are still many people who go out without wearing masks and even spit everywhere. The neighborhood where I live is an old one with many local Shanghainese people, and this directly contradicts my first impression of Shanghainese people. This is probably the "circle of infection". These days, I rarely go out except to get essential supplies, and even when I do go out, I feel like I might have been infected with COVID-19. Along the way, I see antigen test kits everywhere, but I don't want to know if the result is negative or positive. I just run back home as quickly as possible.

Being infected won't kill you, but hunger will. The nearby supermarkets have all closed, and food delivery has stopped. Although I don't order food delivery, it has been almost a month since I received any packages. Every day, I have to wait and rush to grab groceries, but even then, how many times can I actually get something? Because the authorities have been slow to distribute supplies in my street, there have been news reports about the lack of relief supplies. Finally, a bag of rice was delivered the next day. Now, when I browse through Douyin (Chinese version of TikTok), I see many people who can't buy supplies for a long time starting to eat plain soy sauce rice or even stewing their pets. This is the most real situation in Shanghai now. I think I am still lucky. I still have food to eat, and I can have meat every few days. At least I won't starve to death. I have stocked up tens of kilograms of rice, although I don't know what else to eat. Our generation has never experienced hardship since we were young, but this time we are tasting the bitterness. During the pandemic, I have started to learn how to cook for myself, even though it doesn't taste good under these limited conditions.

Yesterday, I saw medical teams from all over the country rushing to Shanghai. It should be the final battle. Today, everyone in Shanghai has to complete their nucleic acid testing. If the result is positive, they will be taken away directly. It is already late at night, and there are still no results. I am anxious. Definitely anxious, even more nervous than during the college entrance examination.

I don't know what the coming days will be like, but I hope this is the end and we will welcome the dawn.

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