Endless days

Unconsciously, it has been two months since I came to Shanghai, and I have been interning for a month and a half.

Suddenly, I feel that time passes by so quickly, yet so slowly. It has been almost a month since the community was sealed off. I don't even know how I managed to endure until now. But the future is still unknown, no one knows when the lockdown will be lifted. Every day, people in the community are diagnosed and taken away in cars. Waking up every day means resetting the 14-day countdown, and even the "beginning" cannot be taken for granted. A nucleic acid test is conducted every other day, and I don't know if I will test positive next. Living in such an environment every day, I have to worry about being taken away and think about how to live the coming days.

In the past few days, Shanghai has experienced countless surreal events. If I told others about it, no one would believe that such a first-tier city could be so disastrous. In peacetime, we have to worry about not being able to eat, not being able to buy what we want. In order not to starve to death, we can only afford expensive food.

And this kind of situation has lasted for more than a month. With the gradual opening of logistics, there seems to be some improvement, but now we can only hope that this last straw can survive and suppress those who sell overpriced food. Now, it is so difficult to have a good meal.

The days of interning at home are truly tasteless, and it has been more than a month. I almost forgot what my colleagues look like. Although it is relatively free, there is an indescribable discomfort. Working from home has long lost the sense of time, and being on call all the time is really uncomfortable. The extremely low work efficiency makes the already saturated work seem endless.

Today, I said again that coming to Shanghai was a mistake. Since deciding to join Ant Group last year, I have been taking one wrong step after another. From Ant Group to Xiaohongshu, it has been a one-way road. What technology can I really learn? None, not even as good as my first internship at a startup company. Now I really want to go back, but unfortunately, there is no way back.

Living such days every day, it seems endless. I feel sad.

After the epidemic, I really want to escape from Shanghai.

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