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innei

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Casual Talk — From the Past to the Present

On Misfortune#

A lot of things have happened these days. I'm not sure if I should call them misfortunes or bad luck.

Last Thursday at noon, I burned my finger with boiling water, and it still hasn't healed today. I lack life experience, which is why the injury is so severe. I don't know how many more days it will take to heal, or if it will become infected. It's truly a sad story.

Since that day, I always feel like unfortunate things keep happening to me. No matter what I do, I can't do it well, and I always encounter troubles when I'm just a little short, or dangers when I'm just a little close. It's like they say, even drinking water can choke me.

Optimistic people always treat misfortunes as nothing, understanding the relationship between blessings and misfortunes. But I'm not like that. I have always been a rather pessimistic person, and I'm not good at seeing misfortunes as the beginning of good luck. I used to think that bad luck and good luck alternate, maybe I'll have bad luck this week and good luck will come next week. But then I realized that's not the case, nothing is predetermined.

I try to see myself as an optimistic person, but it's not that simple. Every time I encounter misfortune one after another, I still think so pessimistically, "Why am I so unlucky?"

I often complain about others, even inanimate objects. If they could speak, I would love to scold them. But it's better to blame myself than to blame the heavens and the earth. Many misfortunes are caused by myself, but some are unforeseeable and happen too late to realize. So let's be cautious and do those things well, me, who is careless.

On Sports#

This semester, I chose table tennis as an elective for physical education. It's already the fourth class this week, and I still can't play. One reason is that I have no foundation, and the other reason is that I lack athleticism. The first point is correct, and the second point is what I have always believed.

Since I was young, I didn't like sports, or rather, I hated them. When I was a child, there were no other kids in the neighborhood, so I basically stayed at home every day. Physical education classes in elementary school were often occupied by Chinese and math classes. During that innocent and carefree time in the early years of elementary school, I was always confined to the classroom by Chinese and math. Because of this, my physical fitness is poor, and the joy of sports was never instilled in my mind from a young age. When I was about to face the physical education entrance exam in junior high school, it was a kind of torment for me. I still remember the feeling when I ran a kilometer for the first time, the discomfort and difficulty breathing, and waking up in the middle of the night with leg cramps... I made it through those three years, and I think I'm a miracle.

As I write this, I slowly realize that what I'm going through now is nothing. I survived the most painful three years, so I can get through this too. Encourage myself silently in my heart.

On Interests#

I started dealing with computers since I was young. From the beginning of ignorance to now choosing a computer major, maybe it was destined. Because I didn't play much when I was young, I basically studied computers at home. It became a hobby, starting from Windows 98 to the current Windows 10. I have experienced almost every distribution in between. From Windows to Linux distributions, from UbuntuKylin to Ubuntu. From distributions to server-side, from UI to terminal. It makes me feel its infinite charm. Later, in high school, I self-studied my first programming language, C. Although I'm not very good at it, I'm still happy.

What I regret is that along this journey, I have very few like-minded friends. Before graduating from junior high school, I made friends with someone I could chat with, but time waits for no one. In the blink of an eye, we graduated and parted ways, and now we are at opposite ends of the earth, no contact for a long time. It's a great pity.

Originally, I thought that after entering the computer major, I would make more like-minded friends, learn together, and improve together. But I was wrong, the world doesn't always align with your wishes. But after all these years, as long as I still have a bit of motivation and belief, even if no one supports me or understands me, so what?

Because I believe, "What you keep in mind will always have echoes."

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