Environment, inertia

It has been a month since I last wrote an essay. I am no longer as productive as I was during my school days. Without the influence of my surroundings, being at home feels like being a bird without constraints, free to do as I please.

I am not studying as diligently as before. Before the vacation, I always made ambitious promises to myself, setting grand goals. But in the end, I always regret not achieving them and end up forgetting myself during the break.

The summer vacation is already halfway over, but I am far from completing my tasks. Currently, I have not finished learning Vue or backend development with Node. I am also working on (while learning) a management system that I can't quite explain. However, my efficiency is low every day, and progress is extremely slow, with less than one percent completed.

Honestly, I still lack the determination and perseverance. It is easy for me to lose myself and lose direction when I am moving forward alone. I always envy how others are, but I can only envy and cannot see or learn their perseverance and the spirit of continuous exploration.

Perhaps, in this environment, the driving force that pushes me forward has weakened, while inertia secretly laughs behind my back. Currently, I can only code for a few hours a day and barely achieve some functionality, but it feels like it consumes a lot of energy and my thoughts are scattered.

Maybe I am forcing myself? Or maybe I am really tired.


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